Revealing the Soul

If you met me a couple of years ago you would know that I absolutely hated being photographed. The idea of standing in one spot for a few seconds and having another person take your picture and then looking at yourself just bothered me. Just like the concept of burgers and pizzas. Why would you ever put meat in between bread buns? Never understood that and I probably never will.

Anyway, taking pictures bothered me because for so long I hated looking at myself. I hated looking at myself in pictures, in mirrors, and I would constantly avoid places where I could see my reflection.

So you can imagine how shocked I was when I volunteered to do a shoot for my friend’s project. Yup! I thought to myself, "How hard can it possibly be? Samuella, just do the damn project!" So I met up with Faidah and she mentioned she would also ask a few questions to go along with the pictures. I was ready, I was hyped and then I saw the questions. In my mind I was just like, 

“AHN AHN, Auntie! Please, slow down na! All these questions!” 

I did not think it would be that deep but boy was I wrong! But in the end I enjoyed the shoot so much and her entire project so I decided to share it with the world. 

Here are a few pictures from the shoot and my responses to Faidah’s thought provoking questions:

What makes you feel vulnerable?

I'm extremely socially selective so when I get really close with someone I feel vulnerable because they get to know me inside and out and it's pretty scary because they can choose to either stay or walk away. So I guess just opening up to people makes me feel vulnerable.

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is not being able to live up to my own expectations. I have a lot of dreams and aspirations so I am always thinking of how to turn those dreams into a reality. It would be an absolute shame if they do not come to fruition and that honestly scares me - so much.

Another big fear is not being able to experience this thing called "love" with that special someone. I've been told that I'm too much of a "lady" and that I set my standards too high. But no wahala, upon all the fishes in the sea I'm sure my own is just somewhere, chilling. He'll enter the ocean one of these days.

Tell me a happy memory.

So hard to choose! I'd have to say every time I bake and cook for my little brother. One time he told me, "Sammie, your fried rice is so good, you should teach these Chinese restaurants AND start a baking business!" That made me so happy and I always smile so hard whenever I get a cake order and a request to make my special fried rice for events.

What is love to you?

It might sound really cliche but love to me is when you can absolutely count on someone no matter what. We all have flaws but when you find that "someone" who is able to care and cherish you no matter what, that is love. And you would literally feel this thing called "love" because it will be so genuine.
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I highly recommend checking out her project: Revealing the Soul. You will thank me later.


Throughout this process I learned a lot about myself so when you see me shamelessly taking a selfie, please just allow me to be great. 

Sincerely,

Samuella